Communication: The Road To Understanding…

SIBS Place - South Nassau Communities Hospital

We are born with instinct, genes and predispositions and, hopefully, our five senses.

Communication is a learned skill, motivated partially by instinct.

We first discover that communication can help us get the things we want: attention, food, etc. Along the way, we learn by example. Through modeling or instruction we are taught (or we figure out) what works to our best advantage. And although some forms of communication can be effective, they might not always be the best ways to achieve our goals. Finally, try though we might, it is possible that we won’t be understood as well as we had hoped, unless we gain some improved communication skills.

For instance, a child might constantly ask “do you love me?” but what is he really asking?

She might say “you never buy me anything” when that might be far from the truth.

He might say “I’m stupid” while he’s doing his homework because he thinks it is taking him too long.

Your child complains “I’m hungry” right after dinner

“Joey doesn’t want to be my friend anymore.” What is he really looking for from you and how can your responses truly satisfy him?

Your child may or may not be aware of what he truly means when he makes these statements, but he would certainly benefit if he could feel he is being heard and understood. Our answers exemplify for children how to learn and listen to what others are really saying, as well. That often requires some time and thought on our part. Take a moment to think about what he is really saying or needs to hear from you. Don’t respond with a fast retort, but rather with a moment’s thought you will be able to demonstrate and express that you are listening to him and trying to understand his disappointment. Reflection and thoughtful re-confirming statements will go a long way in helping your child to feel valued.

If you do not meet with success through the above suggestions, you might consider the assistance of a mental health professional. Overall, the goal is that you develop new skills and gain confidence in your parenting abilities which can then lead to improved communication and foster a more meaningful parent/child relationship.

The information provided on this website including tips, testimonials and other data is for educational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical counsel, diagnosis or treatment by a qualified physician.


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If you are interested in learning more about SIBSPlace, please contact
Suzanne Kornblatt, LMSW, at (516) 374-3000.

“SIBSPlace…A Place Where A Child Matters Most!”

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